Pride Preview︱2023 Grand Marshalls

Middletown Pride 2023 is almost here! On today's episode, Ayanna & Christy will be interviewing this year's Middletown Pride Grand Marshalls, Derek Cartagena and Karleigh Webb. They generously share a bit about their personal journeys, along with the many hats they wear within the Pride community. This interview reminds us that we always have something to learn from one another, as long as we're willing to create the space for conversation. We'll see you on June 3rd! 

https://middletownpride.org/
https://www.qplusct.org/
https://ctpridecenter.org/

Trans Awareness: Christine Rebstock
 https://middletownstrong.buzzsprout.com/1546903/11698599-trans-awareness-week-christine-rebstock

Book Recommendations

Growing Up Trans : In Our Own Words  edited by Dr. Lindsay Herriot and Kate Fry
What was Stonewall?  by Nico Medina ; illustrated by Jake Murray
Always the Almost by Edward Underhill
Anna on the Edge by A.J. Sass

This podcast uses music by Ashutosh, under a creative commons license:
Time by ASHUTOSH | https://soundcloud.com/grandakt
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

Transcript

Cate: 0:14

Thank you for joining us today on Middletown strong. Looking up with Russell Library. I'm Cate Tsahalis and I'm very excited to introduce our 2023 Pride preview episode. Ayanna and Christy interview this year's Middletown Pride Grand Marshalls, Derek Cartagena, and Karleigh Webb. It's hard to believe that Derek and Karleigh just met during the recording of this episode. They spoke as though they were longtime friends. They generously share their personal stories and the roles they play within the Pride community. If you weren't already excited about the 2023 celebration, you certainly will be after this episode. Thank you so much for listening.

Christy: 1:02

Hello everyone, and welcome to Middletown Strong, looking up with Russell Library. I'm Christy Billings, along with, uh, Ayanna. McKennon and Ayanna. Would you like to introduce

Ayanna: 1:11

our guests? Yes. We are here with the 2023 Pride Grand Marshalls, Derek Cardena, and Karleigh Webb. Welcome to

Derek: 1:19

the show. Thank you for having us. Great.

Ayanna: 1:21

Great to be here, folks. We're gonna just hop right into it. We're so glad, uh, to have you both on. We are so excited for Pride 2023. Middletown is already preparing, getting ready. The vibe is, uh, so the community is very excited, right? Everything is happening. Um, and so how are you guys feeling? How is everybody feeling about, uh, getting ready to be Grand Marshalls

Karleigh: 1:47

honored. Yeah. I didn't think this was, that was gonna be coming. Ever. Uh, when I first heard that we want you to be at Grand Marshall of Middletown Pride, I was like, what? I thought it was a, I thought it was fishing. I thought it was joke email at first. No, seriously. I thought that it was, but especially in this year that we've had, now more than ever, we need the celebration, but we also need the fight back.

Derek: 2:17

Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's, uh, it's definitely, um, an incredibly humbling experience. Um, especially like, uh, you know, I'm not a, you know, Middletown native, so like moving here, this is like my new home. So just to have, you know, the commission be like, Hey, you were nominated and kind of selected. I was like, oh my God. Stop. You guys are the best. Yeah. It's a great feeling. It's, it's exciting, but also to share the same note, it's definitely something that, um, We, um, have to really utilize it and take advantage of what it means to be a grand marshal and what it means to kind of be out and loud and proud, um, during Pride month. Definitely.

Ayanna: 2:56

I, I definitely wanna take, um, just a moment to, to give you both your flowers. I was both, I was so excited, um, to see both of your names come up. Karleigh, you are, um, a powerhouse, um, in the state just as far

Karleigh: 3:10

as me. Absolutely.

Christy: 3:12

Yes.

Karleigh: 3:12

Me.

Ayanna: 3:13

Um, just as far as the work that you've done and, um, the strides that you've taken, um, in the, in the trans world in sports, um, it's, it's no small feat. And, and I have of course had to do a little research as, as preparation to get here right to the seat. Um, and I think that it speaks to what, what Middletown is looking for in their Grand Marshall when, when you were chosen. So I was super excited to see your name and I can't wait to see, um, you up there, you up there in June and I.

Karleigh: 3:44

It's hum. Like Derek said, this is very humbling. Yeah. And it's, I mean, it is exciting. It's a little bit terrifying too. Mm-hmm. Because no one does, no one does the things that I've been, I've able been able to do alone. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I've had, I've been surrounded by so many powerhouses that I've learned how to gain power and increase and grow basking in their light of, of so many people who mentored me. We don't get here by ourselves. That

Derek: 4:15

very much. That. Yeah. Absolutely.

Ayanna: 4:17

Mm-hmm. And, and Derek, to the same point, I was equally, um, as excited for, for both, for the, the, um, for the partnership. Mm-hmm. Because, um, I saw you last year saw you, uh, at Pride MCing. Mm-hmm. Um, working with Mia. Shout out to Mia. Um, I love you Mia. Absolutely. Um, and just your energy and I think you are just so beautiful and funny and. The energy, excuse me. The energy that you bring, um, is just so endearing and you're also very passionate. And so I thank you. Am was just so excited to be able to see what you both are able to just bring, um, and the tradition of, of the Grand Marshals that have come before you. Um, it's just been, it just the lead up to, to where we are now. I'm just ex as excited as I was, um, to see where we're going. Mm-hmm. So it, yeah, as Middletown has, has been getting it right. They keep getting it right. Um,

Derek: 5:18

so yeah. Yeah, it's definitely exciting. Uh, it's. So this would be the third Middletown pride that I've either attended or participated in. And just to see it getting better and better. Mm-hmm. Um, and getting, you know, um, more diverse, more inclusive. It's just, it's really what you wanna see in, in pride, you know, festivals, pride, months, um, and that's just a testament to, you know, the community and the commission. So. Good on you guys. Thanks.

Karleigh: 5:45

Absolutely. Yes. They built, they've built a lot in a short amount of time here. Absolutely. But that's something you're seeing across our state. Mm-hmm. That is that you're seeing more and more pride, celebrations growing and growing in places where you didn't think you'd see them. Yeah. Like a lot, a lot of smaller communities. We're starting Pride celebrations, both for the June, for the traditional season, for the fall, and for the traditional Connecticut Pride season in the fall. Right. So you're seeing a lot, but what's been done here in Middletown's Intertel, and I'm looking for it cause this will be my first Middletown Pride. This is my first one. Oh really? Because every year Middletown prides hit up something has gotten in a way to where I get caught out of town. Mm-hmm. E either for work or for family. Yeah. So Middletown Pride, this is this year, is like, there's no way I'm missing. Yeah. And now that I'm Grand Marshall, there's really no, no way. That's what it was. You had to

Ayanna: 6:33

snag

Christy: 6:33

you. It's on the

Derek: 6:34

calendar now. They're, the contracts need to be signed. I,

Karleigh: 6:39

but no, but also there's so many great events in this town. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm a regular for the Middletown Road race every year. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I participated in it every year. This year was the first year I missed in maybe six. Mm-hmm. So this is a great town. Yeah. And they've done a lot in a short amount of time with this. And I'm looking forward to, I'm looking forward to being in this parade.

Derek: 7:02

Yeah. Oh yeah. Super

Christy: 7:03

excited. It is an amazing event. I was there last year and just the joy surrounding it, and we got to walk. Um, it was my first time walking and they were shouting out to the librarians and I, as you said, I was so humbled. I'm like, but that's what we are. That's what we do. So it was so, so amazing. People were like the

Derek: 7:21

librarians? Yes. Oh, no.

Karleigh: 7:23

No. Yeah. Oh, no. See, no, no. Librarians matter. Yeah, librarians matter. Absolutely. Librarians built my life. Mm-hmm. Tell us more. Tell us more. Oh, no, I will. Okay. I'll give you the story. I will give you the story. I'm gonna take you back to little kid growing up in Omaha, Nebraska. It's 1978. The kid is me. It is my seventh birthday. And at that time, the, the thing that everybody won, it was a bike. Because my friends had bikes. Everybody, neighborhood bikes. I want a bike and not just any bike, I wanted a Huffy Thunder Road bike. This was like the cool, you had it picked out. This was the cool bike. Mm-hmm. This was the big seller in 78. It was the cool bike and I was getting one. Mm-hmm. I wake up in the morning, I'm thinking my bike's gonna be here. And then my mom sit to me down and says, honey, you know that bike you wanna add? Um, it's been back ordered at Sears, remember them right. Oh, it's been back ordered at Sears. Sears. It's coming next week. And I'm like, all this, oh, I'm all sad. I said, but you know what, we're gonna, it's gonna be a great birthday. You got a cake? Mm-hmm. We had a cake. We had a cake specially made. We're gonna go out, we're gonna have some fun and I'm gonna get you a present That's better than that bike. Yes. And I was like, better than our feet on the road. And I was like, okay, I wanna see this. So anyway, we get in the car, got got some ice cream, picked up the cake. And she's like, I was like, okay, so where's this present been on her bike? And she's like, you're getting it now. And she drives me to our branch library. Mm-hmm. And we walk in, it's like, mom, this is the library. And she says, I know we're doing, and you know what? It's your seventh birthday, which means you get a junior library card. Woo woo woo. So my mom got me a library card and I, and they said, oh, you get, I said, so when can I start checking out books? Because I'm disappointed. I go a library card. Mm-hmm. So how long? It's like, no, you can check out six right now. I'm like, oh, I love that. So I pick, so I check out six Encyclopedia brown mysteries, remember him? Oh, nice. Right. And that day after like little birthday party cousins come over, it's that night and I'm reading these books and I'm all in them. I devour all six over that weekend. Mm-hmm. I love it. And then I said, mom, can we go back to the library? And that entire summer I was reading, reading, reading, and from there mm-hmm. Reading. And to this day I've always had a library card. Mm-hmm. I've always had a library card because I tell people that bike gave me wheels, but a library card gave me wings. Mm. Oh my god. Love that so much. Love to the librarians. Much love to libraries. Yeah. Um, attention, people who like cast votes and legislatures stop cutting funding to libraries. Yes.

Derek: 10:11

Very much that. It's very important. We are very relevant.

Karleigh: 10:14

Yep. Libraries are to you. Libraries are more than just books. Even more now. Exactly. And they're needed now. Libraries are foundations of democracy. Mm-hmm. They're foundations of education. They must be funded, they must be supported and they must be protected.

Christy: 10:31

Oh my gosh. We're gonna sign you up. This is after the Grand Marshall gig.

Derek: 10:34

This is me snapping. Yes. Very much this. And,

Stephanie: 10:37

and we know

Ayanna: 10:37

our, uh, listeners. Just know this, but please tell anyone who

Derek: 10:41

may be confused. Yes. We're talking to you specifically. Specifically spread the word. Yeah. Libraries are great. Love them.

Ayanna: 10:49

Yeah, it was, it was so much love. Um, at Middletown Pride, you, you are gonna love it. Uh, it is, it is unlike anything, um, in the state. And shout out to the state though. Shout out to Connecticut and the small towns. I have. Um, been seeing the, the rural towns pop up now and, and be a part of. Of pride in their communities are rising up and it is so beautiful to see. Um, but I might be a little biased.

Derek: 11:12

Yeah, yeah. About Middletown, but also, also too, it's like, shout out to Middletown cuz like I've had the privilege of working, you know, with different pride organizations and some of them are like nonprofits. So it's really refreshing to see like a commission, like a city commission that's able to put this on that, you know, they have, you know, monthly meetings and that like, they're really engaging, like to some people, you know, they think pride is just the month or just the event, you know, and it's just like here in Middletown, it's the whole year. Um, and they're very active in engaging. So, uh, it's, it's really nice to be, you know, somewhat kind of connected to that. And I think, um, sometimes it doesn't, it doesn't go recognized. So shout out to Middletown and the commission, you know, cause um, it's, it's not easy. And sometimes it seems like it's like a, um, It's a thankful job, but sometimes it's not. People don't really understand, um, logistics and what goes into like, you know, putting together such a big event and having events throughout the year. So shout out to you guys.

Christy: 12:13

Absolutely. And we have a dear friend on the commission. So yeah, shout out especially to Jen and we miss her, uh, and wish her well in Portland. Yes, Jen.

Derek: 12:21

Love you Jen. I

Christy: 12:22

know. So tell us, I've done the Middletown Road race. The Middletown Road race is not an easy run. Tell us a little bit more about some of your competitive sides.

Karleigh: 12:32

Well, for starters, no Middletown Road race is not easy, but it's fun and it's one of the best finish lines you're ever gonna get. Absolutely. Because you are sweeping right down Main Street. Yeah. Whoosh. It's great. And you see all these people that are cheering you on. And I really think as far as road races, Middletown is a, is a very much a hidden gem. It's starting to become less hidden. Not just in the state, but across the region. You're starting to see more and more license plates from Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and New York. And even as far down as, say, Maryland coming up here to compete. It's becoming, it's becoming a thing in that early spring running season. It's becoming a

Christy: 13:10

thing. Yeah. There's not a lot of good races in at that point in the

Karleigh: 13:13

year. Well, they're, they're starting to come together. You start getting, like, you get middle, you, you know, for example, you get Middletown and then you get, um, you get Plainsville Collinsville Road race in May that's coming up. And then you really start getting into the meat of the summer season to get everybody ready for the fall season towards Hartford Marathon. Absolutely, yep. I mean, it's that, it's that hole you wanna peak at the right time sort of thing. Yes. So, but there's a lot. But once you start getting into June and July, there's a ra, there's like two or three races you can every weekend. You choose from every weekend. Yeah. Yeah. But I enjoy Middletown for that early year. The weather's usually co cooperative. I mean, I'm hoping that we get some really nice weather for, for pride and for the parade success. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. But as far as the competitive side goes, um, like you did your homework, I do my sports and um, there's a lot of things going on. And of course my running racing season and, uh, Southern New England Friend Friendship League softball, shout out to Connecticut's Grandis and oldest LGBTQ softball league play our, let me see, what is this? I believe this is season number 42 and it starts on this coming Sunday. Damn. This, this starts this coming Sunday and there's still room if you wanna play, there're get that arm around. Yes. There's still no, no, we still got room if you wanna play. All right. Make sure we get that, make sure we get all that information out out the people. We can do that. Sure, we can. We still got more, we still got room on the plane. And also, um, But the biggest thing I've been doing is something I, I did that was completely different. I decided to, I decided to want to do something different, and strangely enough, it happened at Pride la It happened at West Hartford Pride last year. A friend of mine told me, um, you always said you want, like, you always said you wanted to get back to playing a little football, right? I'm like, yeah, Yu me. Maybe. It's like, well, there's a women's tackle football team that has a tent here. Go check'em out. Oh my God. I ended up checking them out and now I play for'em. I'm saying, did you sign up on Yeah. Rip Reaper's Reaper's Women's Tackle Football based outta Danbury. In fact, in fact, we still have games as we have. We're still gonna be having games during the Pride month. Playoff time is during the Pride month, but, all right. Also, we're gonna give you the information on that because we always need players and we're all, and we're already gearing even as we're. Going through this season, we're already get, we're gearing up for next season and it was so much fun. It's been, it's been fun, it's been beautiful and it's been my first time in pads in about 35 years and, and it, and my body will tell you, right? It's so hard. Why did you go back? I have body parts after games telling me, Karleigh, why we need Karleigh. We're your legs. We need to talk. We're very sore. Karleigh, we're your shoulder we're banged up. Why did you do this? Right? Yeah.

Derek: 16:10

Right. That's me. Every time I do drag my body the next morning is just like, why are we doing this still? Why?

Karleigh: 16:16

No, I'm just, no, I'm just wondering how hard, how tough is it to get up there and perform? Because that's something I'd wanna try once, just

Derek: 16:24

to see what I, I always tell everyone that drag is something that you should try at least once. Everyone I like, I tell people like, you should try drag, you should learn a different language and you should play a musical instrument. Those are my like three things. Um, performing, it's, it's, it's kind of otherworldly. I can't really like speak to like, sometimes exactly what it's like cuz like, I don't even remember sometimes like I get on stage and then I just remember like walking off stage and I'm like, oh, I could do that again. Until I wake up the next day and my body's like, you cannot do that again. You do not do that. Um, but it's, it's, it's very physically demanding. Even just the physicality of getting into drag, like the pads, all of that type of stuff. Um, it's, it's not easy, but it's definitely fun. It's definitely rewarding. Um, um, I'm sure it's something that you understand playing sports. It's that like kinetic kind of like the energy that you feel something about it. It's just like, you can't, you can't replicate it in any, anywhere else. You know what I mean? It's just like the greatest thing, but I think everyone should do it. It's, it's fun. Um, you get the bug, I'm telling you, you get the bug, you do it one time and you're like, all right, when's the next show? When's the tour dates? I want it all. Which tolay again? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's very much that. And

Karleigh: 17:38

how, how, that's

Derek: 17:38

why I won't do it. Been performing. I've been performing. I think I'm coming up on like 13 or 14 years. Okay. Yeah. So I started, I started drag at age seven. Pretty much, pretty much, pretty much. So I, so just, just, just background. So I grew up Jehovah Witness my family. Um, so like there was a lot of things that like I. Um, was not allowed to do. Right. And my mom was just like, you know, like when you turn 18, you can dye your hair, you can get, you can get a piercing, you know, cuz you're, you're, you're an adult now. And then I turned 18 and I just like went, I just like went right off the deep end. It was like blue hair, the face piercings, tattoos. I just did it all. And then, um, I went to school, um, for cosmetology and then when I graduated I was just like, oh, maybe I should try drag. Like, lemme just see what that is. So, you know, I did what everybody else did. I went to the bathroom, got myself together, and I was like, oh, this is kind of nice. I could do it. Um, but I didn't. I, I didn't. And then, um, I went to like an amateur show with a couple of my friends and my, you know, in my youth in Hubris, I had a lot to say about what it was that I was, you know, taking in. And my best friend was just like, well, if you think you could do better, then do it. And I was just like, okay. And then two weeks later I did it and then just, it hasn't stopped. So it was probably like, 18, like 19 like. Yeah. So it's been, it's been a minute. Absolutely.

Christy: 18:56

Yeah. So I saw you perform this past weekend at at Earth Day Extravaganza. Yes. And it was so much fun. It was fun. You tell us a little bit about that experience other than, I mean, it was really cold. We were outdoors it was, but it was fun. So

Derek: 19:09

it was great. Mother Nature was really coming for the gig. She really was. And the wig. Yeah. And you know, like I was telling you guys earlier, I was just like, you know, it was story time hour. I was just like, you know, I'm not going to be like dancing and flipping and twirling and all that. So I was like, you know, the glue's gonna stay at home. The bobby pins are gonna stay at home. And then all of a sudden it was just like, You know, Zephyr wins and I'm just like, what is going on? And I'm like, trying to take pictures and I can feel her like, sliding back. And I'm like, no, my head is tilted back. Like, are you okay? And I'm just like, yeah. You know, it just, if it happens, it happens. But the event was like every storytime hour that, that I've been able to do with the Russell Library, it's been, it's great. It's just, it's really, really, really engaging. Which I like, sometimes I feel, I get a little nervous that I'm gonna go when people aren't necessarily gonna like, get it or people might go for not, you know, good reasons. But it's, it's been so. Like rewarding to go and like the people wanna be there and they wanna see drag and they wanna hear us, you know, read these stories and, you know, engage with the kids. And you know, like you were saying, um, Carla earlier, it's like, it's more important now that we're, we're doing this and, but it's just, it was such a delight. It was such a delight. Beside, besides Mother Nature, it was, it was fun. I could like read like, I was ready, I was ready. I was just like, oh, we need an adult one too. Like, I wanna read like absolutely excerpts and, and poems for, for, you know, my gosh. Like young adults. Yeah. Oh my. I was telling Jen this

Stephanie: 20:33

make a note.

Christy: 20:33

We're gonna, we're gonna

Derek: 20:35

make this happen. Yeah. I was telling Jen this, like, and I was like, literally like, I'm thinking this, uh, excerpt, this one, this one, this one. And she was like, yes. Like we have to make it happen. Like it's, yeah. That's so

Karleigh: 20:43

cool. It's Derek, what's your thoughts on. This nonsense that we're seeing right now in regards to people wanna make drag legal.

Derek: 20:53

I why? I think first and foremost, it's important to recognize that they're kind of using drag as a scapegoat for other things, like the way that things are so queer coded. Um, they're, you know, it's really an assault on the trans community first and foremost. And I think people really need to recognize that. Thank you. Um, and recognize how integral, um, the trans community is to drag as an art form, just like first and foremost. Um, but it's, it's, it's very scary. It's very dangerous. Um, and it's this weird thing where it's just like, We've been saying this, you know what I mean? Like, like this isn't, like, a lot of people are like, oh my God, this is just like out of nowhere. I'm like, no, it's, it's not. We told you. We've been saying it, we've been saying it, you know, and it goes way, way, way back, like, you know, um, for people who might not know when it goes back to, you know, like the gendered bathrooms and it's just like, it's, it's always been an assault to the trans community, um, even since prior legislation. So I just think like recognizing that like it's. It's very insidious and it's been, it's been in the, kind of like underneath the rug kind of thing, and now they're pulling it from under us. And now it, more than ever, it's like, we really need to make sure that we are, we're solid, we're stable, we're sturdy, so that we don't fall and trip, you know? Yeah.

Christy: 22:12

Right. And we need to, to be the, the folks behind you mm-hmm. And in front of you and around you, so that the voices are heard.

Ayanna: 22:21

Yeah. And I think it's, um, that again speaks to, to why Middletown is so special, because it's, it's such a stark contrast with the stuff that is happening mm-hmm. Um, in Tennessee, because you're right, like there is, like, I'm sure there's fears, right? When we're, even, when we're planning, um, these things, even when we're sitting at the table and we're like, okay, how, how much bigger and how much more inclusive are we gonna make these things? Because there are always people outside. Um,

Karleigh: 22:49

well, let's not. Let's not get too smug here in Connecticut. Mm-hmm. Remember the trans athlete hysteria started here mm-hmm. In Crown. It started here and it started just down the road. Mm-hmm. It started just right down route nine. So let's not get too, let's not get complacent, too complacent here. Yes, exactly. As a state. But one thing I do want to say for this pride this year, number one, we want you, we want you to come to pride. Absolutely. We want you, we want you to see Derrick getting down. Absolutely. We want, we wanna see you performing Absolut. I, I wanna see you perform. Cause I,

Derek: 23:23

I'm gonna take, I'm ready for us to be in the little car in the convertible, like feeling our fantasy Sweet. Me tell you. Yeah.

Karleigh: 23:30

I will tell you right now. I'm gonna wear the, I'm gonna wear, I'm gonna rock a serious pride football look, I will tell you that. Love it. I can't

Derek: 23:39

listen. I'll pull it down. If you need stones, if you need, you know, embellishments. I got you friends, I got you. Oh, no,

Karleigh: 23:46

no, I'll hear. No, no, I see you fam. Yeah. I'm gonna take you up on that. Okay. But, but one thing I want people to come in is, don't get me wrong, we want a party. We wanna celebrate, but also we need fight back. Mm-hmm. Bring your brick right. Bring your stonewall, bring your stonewall spirit with you. Mm-hmm. Because it can't just be a party is also has to be, there's gonna be a lot of learning. Mm-hmm. Where there's one thing about Middletown Pride, there's a lot of opportunities for teach-ins. Yes. There's a lot of, there's a lot of programming surrounding it. Mm-hmm. Not just the fund, but there's also the educational components and the historical components. Yeah. And more than ever, it's gonna be necessary because, As we're, as we're sitting here right now today, there's a transgender legislator in Montana who was thrown off the floor and was silenced. Mm-hmm. Because she dared to speak her truth mm-hmm. To anti-democratic power. Yeah. And yeah. And, and, uh, and you know, you don't understand, y'all one thing, you know, when you get Karleigh Webb tea will get spilled. Absolutely. And un and understand this. I will spill some tea and some of that tea is up in Hartford, north State Assembly. Mm-hmm. I e a certain legislator who wants to put up a bill That's a, that would prohibit teachers from using the proper pronouns for a given student. We know who you are and we know that Bill may not get outta committee, but we know who you are. Yeah. They're trying it. Even here, you had the situation, Greenwich to School Board last year, where they basically said, we will ignore Title IX protections for trans students in our schools. That happened here. That didn't happen in Alabama. That didn't happen in Tennessee. That happened right. Here. Mm-hmm. There's still a lot of fights to be fought here. Yeah. And one place where we can come together and do that is in the middle of this celebration. Absolutely. Because this is an opportunity to send a message that you won't bring. You won't bring the contagion here, but we're gonna bring the pride spirit beyond

Derek: 25:45

here. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's, that also speaks to like, one of the, the good things about, uh, Middletown pride that I've personally experienced is that, like, as a drag entertainer and that have done pride before, most of it, it's just like a celebration. But at Middletown Pride, it's the, it's a good balance of like, you know, um, a celebration, but also like a learning experience. Like, you know, I haven't come to a Middleton Pride where they don't say, you know, that it was, it started as a protest and, you know what I mean? And it, it was started by, you know, trans, you know, people and people of color and, um, It's, it's just a great opportunity for people to be inspired to want to be involved and engaged in their community. Cuz that's really the first step to, to change, you know, like, you know that people think like grand and, you know, legislations and bills being passed and it's like, no, you need to be involved directly in your community. It starts there and it's very, very, very important that you're, you know, on a municipal level that you're involved, that you're getting people to vote. Do you know? It's, it's, it's, well also

Karleigh: 26:40

just day to day Yeah. Engagement. Yeah. Everywhere. Everywhere. Not just, not just at the F Festival, but also not just in, in the city council chamber. Mm-hmm But your library ex Yeah. At your street on the bus among the storefronts. And that's another thing how Middletown business swings up Yep. For PR brings up for this celebration. Yeah. The whole town swings up. Yep. That's

Christy: 27:01

impressive. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And, and the support and the love. Um, it, it's everywhere. Yeah. I think if somebody hasn't come to pride or ever been to a pride, what would you say to that person? Like how would you encourage people to come to Pride that are maybe a little nervous about, um, coming for the very first time?

Derek: 27:20

I would say, I would say that there really isn't anything to be scared of. Um, I think, you know, if we wanna get really deep, I like, you know, people have this like fear of the unknown, right? Like, that's like the one true fear in existence. It's just the fear of unknown and it's like, come to pride and see us. We're, you know, like it's actually, it's really fun, really great. It's so fun. Yes. It's, you know, and not only that, you're gonna leave like satisfied, fulfilled, you're gonna feel educated and you're gonna, more importantly, you're gonna want to take that education with you and bring it to other people. Like the one thing about. Pride is that, you know, you can unabashedly be yourself, you know what I mean? And there, there, there's nothing greater than that. You just wanna be yourself and, and, you know, lead with love and, and, and share that. And I think pride is a great opportunity for our communities. You know, cuz we, cuz there's intersecting, there's lots of it. You know, we don't talk about that enough, you know, especially as a, you know, queer person of color. You know, there's, I'm faced with a lot of reasons why I should feel a lot of bad things, you know, but Pride is, is not one of them. So I would definitely encourage, you know, you know, my poc, brothers, sisters, everybody in between like come to Pride and just, and, and, and be yourself and feel fulfilled. You know, I

Christy: 28:34

loved people being their authentic self, being comfortable being their authentic self. I, I want that for people all year long. Not just on Pride. Yeah. And not just in Middletown. Yeah, absolutely. But

Karleigh: 28:44

Pride can be a great start. Yeah. It's a great cause. It, it was a pride celebration that cracked my egg years ago and, And for me, being in a place where, first, where I could be safe, I could be myself, but also to run into others who were also telling me that you can be, you can be who you are beyond here. Yeah. It is possible. Mm-hmm. It is possible. The, the examples are here from going to that first pride celebration, I was able to find community and from there being able to find community, I was, I could, I was in a position to learn more, grow more, pull layers back. And that led me forward on my own journey. And I encourage those who may be in that position, like maybe, maybe this is who I am, maybe I need to come out. Pride's a good opportunity to get to start building that community and start building that. Start building that family. Yeah.

Derek: 29:38

And even if you aren't come anyways. Yeah. Come anyways. See, you know what I mean? Like I think, I think sometimes people feel like if it's not their kind of way that they live their life, then they don't want anything to do with it. But it's just like, how do you grow and evolve if you don't see other ways of life? You know what I mean? Like, even if it's not necessarily like what you wanted, just come, just come like you're like, I would be surprised if someone went to Pride and be like, nah, it was eh. Right. It wasn't giving, it was my, I would be very, very, very surprised.

Christy: 30:07

Absolutely shocked actually. Yeah. No, that, and you've come away with such energy and, and positivity. Mm-hmm. That, yeah. Absolutely. I feel like. If you're not a hater, please come to bed. Honest

Derek: 30:19

person, to be quite so much out of this. Yeah. I, I honestly feel like if you're a hater, come too, come to their space for you. Here go. There you go. You know what I mean? I'm gonna love you. All the same. All the same. I love that. That like, it's just, it's just what it is. You know? Like I think, I feel like some people think that like there's, there's still this like weird, like ill-conceived notion that it's some sort of like, like you were saying, contagion that like, you're gonna get the gay or something like that. And it's just like, it's like you, you know, like you might catch the trans, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, like, you know, like, for lack of a better word, for like the haters or for the ignorant like, or the ill-formed to come to pride, come to see what, you know what I mean? Like, cuz you're, thank you. You're gonna, you're gonna see, you're gonna see and there's, there's, you know, another thing is that like, historically, like being queer has always been kind of linked to this like weird like, um, Something that is like promiscuous or like, you know, not for, you know, the everyday nuclear family. And it's just like, it, it, and it's, it's ridiculous. A, you know, it's, it's completely untrue. Um, and, but to those people, like, I encourage those people more to come, you know, like

Karleigh: 31:27

besides, let's face it, you've come anyway. Yeah. Excited. Because all those people that you look at and some of those people look at those weirdos at that pride, that same person that you said, that same person who, um, that same person who probably you saw them dressed up like little bow peep. Mm-hmm. That person delivered your mail Monday morning. Yeah. That person probably worked. You know, that person is probably in your bank teller. All those, those trans people that you're, that you, that you lift your nose at. Some of those, some of those people that you are looking your nose down at are defending country right now. Yeah. And not only that, or they're, or they are or they are, they're your firefighter down the street, that station, that's protect, that's making sure if your house catches fire, they're the one putting it out or they,

Christy: 32:08

you never family.

Karleigh: 32:10

Yeah, it can be your family, you know, you know that billboard is true. Be careful who you hate. It might be someone you love.

Derek: 32:15

Absolutely. And let's be clear, like also like the, the, to people who say like the queer weirdos, like we're the mover and the shakers. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we are the one that are really doing it. Like, you know, anyone that you see, that you admire, you respect, there's a queer weirdo getting them together. Absolutely. Behind the scenes, you know what I mean? Like, let's tween not forget, you know, like mm-hmm. We really are, and especially like, like, you know, queer POC and the trends community. Like we really are the trendsetters and the movers and, you know what I mean? Like you, there isn't a, a trend, there isn't a fad that you cannot, you know, trace back. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. So it's just like, yeah. They gotta know. They gotta know. So

Christy: 32:51

for the young people, um, we, we've talked a little bit about this, um, at some of our other podcasts. What kind of tips would you give to folks? Um, As they're looking to kind of be searching for their true, authentic self, what is something that you wish you kind of had heard as a young person that you would want to pass on?

Derek: 33:15

Um, I would def like, first and foremost, I would definitely say be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Um, I can only speak from my own personal experience, but like if, if Derek slash Hella now could talk to Derek slash hella, you know, in growing up I would just say be kind. It's not, it isn't linear. It is not something that's just like, it's not point A and point B, you know, like people have that, you know, it's, it's, it's not a binary, it's, it's, it's an ocean, it's a universe and that is a gross simplification of it. Do you know what I mean? So it just like allow yourself the space and the time to really just, just come into yourself, you know? And, um, and not knowing is just as okay as knowing. Like that's also very, you know, it's okay. Um, and, you know, it's been like my little thing for the past couple years, but like, you know, many things can exist at the same time. You know, just, just be kind to yourself and allow yourself this space to just kind of flourish.

Christy: 34:11

I love that. I love that. Thank you.

Karleigh: 34:13

Yeah. On my end it was a little bit different because I came into my truth about age 46. So, but I will say this, what I would tell young people is, number one, understand that for many of us who are just trying to find themselves, and you have had this opportunity to pursue this at your age, you're schooling us. So you know what, we're gonna take cues from you. So understand that in this community, age does not always mean rank love, that are the, our young, our young is Gen Z is leading the way we're marching with them. Yeah. And in some way it's, it's interesting. And this battle that we're fighting right now, in many ways, some of our greatest generals are in Generation Z. Yeah. And, and I tell them often I salute you where I salute you, where do I lie? You tell me where I line up. Because no, you're the person that's in the lead. There were so many, there were so many people much younger than me, in addition to people who were older than me. Who let, who were mentors to me. Yeah. And in fact, one thing I've learned, one thing I've learned being in the, being immersed now and living fully and authentically in the queer world, is that have mentors younger than you have a mentor who's in their twenties because they're going to get you hip to the change of thinking that are going on right now because they are at the vanguard of those changes that are going on. It's in one thing we need to get back to in our LGBTQ communities in many ways is stop taking this a very cis, het ideal, that there cannot be intergenerational relationship between young and old. Mm-hmm. There's nothing in sexist, there's nothing wrong about that. In fact, in our history, that's how we lived. Old taught young. Mm-hmm. And now becau and now in many ways younger, also teaching the old, so it's exchanged, for example. I have close friends who are, I have close friends who have had the opportunity to pursue their transitions when they were in high school and they were in college. Mm-hmm. And they run into 46 year old me who did not get that opportunity because we did not have the society mm-hmm. That we have now. At the time I was 14, 15, 16. So they're teaching me certain things, but also they're getting fresh outta college. So they haven't had their butt kicked in the corporate world where I've worked in that world for my entire adult life. Mm-hmm. So you have something I can give them? No. The thing is though, it's exchange. Yeah. They're teaching me the things that are going on right now. But I'm also teaching them, this is what you're about to walk into as you bring yourself into these environments. Because I've had 30 years of life kicking me in the butt. Once in a while, I can teach you the things I can. I can give you the, I can give you the information that you don't make the mistakes and have the hard knocks. I went through, so it's E, so it's an even F exchange and because it's that intergenerational relationship. Yeah. We need to get back to that now more than ever. Absolutely. Because it's vital to what? It's vital to our survival. Mm-hmm. It's always been that, and now that we are kind of in these. Very tenuous times. Now more than ever, we need to get back to what we know works as a community. Exactly. And that works.

Christy: 37:25

Absolutely. I think anytime we, we take people and we kind of silo them off, you're really losing so much. And I'm always impressed with the Gen Z and, and X, Y, Z wherever we are at that point with the language that they have. Mm-hmm. Because growing up I didn't have that language to express some of the things that I was thinking, and I'm so impressed that they have that and can it just rolls off their tongue. Yeah. It's like, oh man, I wish I had that when I was 14, 15. Oh yeah. But now you

Karleigh: 37:53

get it. Now, but now we

Derek: 37:55

get it. Yeah. Now we get it. It's, it's, yeah, like I remember very clearly when I first heard the term non-binary and like, I was legitimately moved to tears cuz I remember being young with my friends, like talking about like, we, we don't understand, there's not a word to describe it. Mm-hmm. So then when it's like, when you actually see the word and you read it, it's just like, that's it. Singing. And they, you know what I mean? And they get it. They, they, you know what I mean? And it's, it's great. But it also speaks to the note that you were saying, like, definitely the generations need to come together because while they have great ambition, we have great perspective and you can help temper that, you know, to really make things happen. You know, especially now more than ever, you know, we have to stop, you know, all this anti-trans, like anti gendered, anti like, body autonomy legislation that's happening. Um, because it's, it's like, you know, it, they say like, it's a queer thing. It's really not, but you know what I mean? It's really, really, really, it's, it's, it's a civil rights thing. It's like, you know what I mean? Like it, you know, if they can take one, they'll take all. You know, and, and that's, that's the scary part about it. That's the dangerous part about it. That's to understand

Christy: 38:57

for sure. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Anna, I see you have a, a question on your mind.

Ayanna: 39:02

No, no, no. Well, I was, I'm always like thinking and, and doing stuff over here. No, I was just, I was thinking that it, it just, there's a level of awareness that comes with, you know, being of a certain generation and understanding that change is inevitable and that you won't always have the same thoughts and understandings. Right. So I was, I was just thinking to myself like, Karleigh, that is such your, your level of awareness. Like, I just, I wanted to commend that because Right. It takes a strong person to be like, you know what, I, I know what I don't know, and I know that, you know, and so I'm reaching back to be like, Hey, hold on. Show me this. Tell me more. Show me this because I, I didn't get this back then. And I think if more folks were able to do that, like we would be able to tie so much of this messy stuff up. I, I really think that's the biggest. Part of the biggest issue, um, between so many communities, not just, not just in this particular issue. Um, but I wish that there was more communication, um, between the generations. I wish that, um, I don't know how this is gonna come out, but I, I wish that people of the older generation would let go of some of that power sometimes, um, because

Karleigh: 40:13

I see where you're going, you know? Yeah. Because I, I think, I think what I think what some people my age need to do, we need to let go of this idea that we know everything. Mm-hmm. And we need to let go in some ways and realize that, like for example, I realized when I, when I came, when I was moving forward with my transition, I was like, okay, I want to do this. And alright, now what, what the, and then, and you're dealing with all this and you're also dealing with the fact that you're also dealing with the fact that, um, Um, pardon my French, but you're old and you're dealing with, and also in other ways, you're dealing with just not only like the technical nuts and bolts, but the feelings surrounding it, because these feelings are very new and you're also dealing with the clashing feelings of your past. Mm-hmm. How do you reconcile your past and your pre, how do you reconcile your past, your present? Where do you see yourself in the future? And that is where having so many people younger than me who have had this opportunity, who've had this opportunity to move forward from the jump mattered. Mm-hmm. Because they were able to, if nothing else, give me the encouragement to say then was then, and you can heal from them, but you get to be, you get to be 15 right now, enjoy this. Yeah. It was something that a really, actually it was somebody, a really close friend who's in, her trans woman in her early twenties told me, Because I was tell, like one day we were both talking about, you know, we were talking about trans women's stuff, you know, we were mm-hmm. We were engaged in that, in that particular type of girl talk. And at one point I was like, I am, I was like, I envy you because you, you are getting an opportunity to be young and in your truth right now. And here I am, age 50. She's like, no, you're not. You're mentally, you're 15 because you're still going through all the same stuff. Mm-hmm. I, you're going through the same stuff I went through at 17, 18. So, you know what, instead of fighting it, feel it. Yeah. Lean into it and Yeah, lean into it. She, that's exactly what you said. Don't fight it. Feel it. Yeah. Liberate yourself. Feel it. You know what? Mm-hmm. You know what? Wear the, you know what, if you wanna wear the sailor moon t-shirt and the shorts and the short skirt, the pride, you do it. Oh. If you wanna wear it out in the street, just do it. No, just do it. Who can judge you? And what would, and why would you care? And you know, what did, but that was very liberating. Mm-hmm. And finding your own truth. Is liberating is in itself, is just liberating. Because from there you go out and do, you go out, you don't see the world the same way. Because I'm a little, little bit of a story about my journey is that I got laid off the same day I decided I have to move forward. Mm-hmm. So in a sense, a career I had for 18 years ended and the same day I had to, in the same day, I decided, okay, you know what? You've been picking at this thing, picking at this thing. Just go with it. Wow. Well, how am I gonna be able to do this other job? You'll figure it out. And because I moved forward in my truth, I was able to find a new career. I was able to also tie a new career to my previous career as a journalist and get back to that. And I found that I was a lot more open to instead of, well maybe I'll do that one day to like, no. Yeah, I'm going, no, no, I'm going to be in the Trans bodies dance recital now. I'm not gonna wait for a year. Um, you know what I'm gonna do spoken word poetry now. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm going to, I'm going to dive into activism with the party for social living and liberation now. Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to play tackle football again now. Yes. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and live now. I'm going to do drag with Derek now. Know that

Derek: 43:58

baby, baby. It's, let's go. You heard it? Let's go here first. Yes. I, I wanna go. Yeah. There's so many great things happening on this podcast right now. You know what it is? It's just like, I think what what this speaks to is this idea that, like, I feel like we as people don't understand, like the limitless potential we have. Like we live in like a world that is constantly shackling us for various reasons, you know, and it's, it, you know, I think what scares people, um, quite honestly about the queer community is that we don't. Have those shackles once we release ourselves from it, and like, I'm no longer afraid of my limitless potential. I could do anything that I want. You know what I mean? Because I walk every day in my truth. And that scares people because they don't, they don't, they can't, it's not reflected in their own life, you know? So they think that it's something that they have to take away from us because they don't have that. Exactly. And it, when it's

Karleigh: 44:50

Harring talked about this a lot. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. Great. Confederate LGBTQ activist, she says that a lot. That, that when the minute that you unshackle yourself and become free, some people get contentious and go, how dare you be free. Yeah. Put them shackles back on. How dare you be free? Yeah.

Derek: 45:06

And it's just like, friend, let me help you take yours off. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like it's, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, that's a very simplification of it, but it just like, that's a powerful thing. Yeah. It's just like, you know, like within my own personal life, be it friends, family, work, anything, like nothing is gonna stop me from like, you know, if I wanna do it, you know, if it makes me happy and it's not hurting anybody else, like, I'm gonna do it. You know, and I'm not gonna apologize. Like gone are the days where we apologize for our freedom. Like, that doesn't happen anymore. I'm not doing that. You know? Absolutely.

Christy: 45:37

Absolutely. Are there questions that you wish people would ask you that people don't tend to ask you?

Derek: 45:47

I feel like that's a loaded question. I can

Karleigh: 45:51

tell you questions I wish people wouldn't

Derek: 45:52

ask. Right. Let's do that. That's exactly where my mind went to first. Like, I was like, I know what I want. A bunch of those. Yeah, yeah.

Christy: 45:58

No, that's fine too. So what, what do people ask that you wish they would just stop? Like, what, what is mostly I would think personal stuff that nobody would ask a cisgendered

Karleigh: 46:06

person. So what is your, so what's your real name? Oh my goodness. Oh, that doesn't still happen. Oh, it still happens. What is your real name? This is my real name. I was gonna say.

Derek: 46:19

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also just like this, uh, idea of just like, um, having access to our, like our bodies. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, or it's, it's very much the like, can I touch your hair type thing? Or like, you know, like, oh, can I touch? Like, no. Like, no you can't, right? Mm-hmm. Or, um, you know, Just very personal questions about like your physicality. Like I, for me, I cannot subscribe to that school of thought. Like why people are so invested in people's, you know, just they're bodily autonomy. Like you, you know, like Right. Yeah.

Karleigh: 46:52

Memo to cisgender people. Yeah. Stop asking transgender people about their genitalia. Exactly. Stop it. It's creepy. Yeah, it is. It's invasive. Yeah. Don't do it. It's violating. Stop it. Yeah. Which is weird cuz I thought

Ayanna: 47:03

queer people were the weirdos. Mm-hmm.

Derek: 47:05

But that's a very

Karleigh: 47:06

wild thing. No, no, no, I'm serious. The, the cis hat community's got some, uh, like I often say, you know, some cisgender people gots issues. Mm-hmm. They do

Derek: 47:15

come tissue. Consider that stolen honey.

Karleigh: 47:19

No, no, no, no. Use that by all means. But a lot of the people, a lot of, a lot of the straits, let's just go there. They got, they seem to have this idea that. We have the right to question you on anything. Mm-hmm. And you must answer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Or, or on the other side, there's the impositions that they still have on, on lives that are not, that are not straight mm-hmm. Lives that are queer. They, the imposition that we, you have to accept our view of your life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And when and when we say no, that's not it at all. I mean, I e be it, be it the way that queer people socialize, be it the queer attraction's, one of the big ones. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. And that's one, that's one of the big ones right there. Because one thing I learned. Through. One thing I have learned in my own transition, my own journey, is that queer attraction runs very different. Yeah. Queer socialization runs very different. Absolutely. Just the way that we go through a social life and build community mm-hmm Of your family is very different. Yeah. And they try and straits off them, try to impose theirs, their view on that and say that no, this is what it is when you don't know. I'll give you an example cuz my mom and I go around the tree with this one. And last summer I was able, last summer I came out to family, to a lot of my family for the first time. And for the most part there was a lot of support. But among people my age and younger, great deal of support, parents, grandparents, uh, they gotta get up to speed. But one of the things like, this is me. This is me and my mom talking about this. And my mom's like, okay, why don't you be, my mom would say quote, Why don't you just be honest? You are a gay man. I was like, okay, why do you say that? Why do you, because you're wearing women's clothes. I was like, okay, let's talk queer 1 0 1 here for a second. Mm-hmm. Mom, no. Gay men are men. Gay men, like men. Why? Gay men are men. Gay men are not wearing women's clothes. It's not how it works. Yeah. No, and but, but the point is, that's the idea. The imposition of what they, of what? Mm-hmm. Their con their concept of who we are is correct because Yeah, it was defined by the quote unquote straight majority. Yeah.

Derek: 49:35

Yeah. It's this like idea that the, like, heteronormative hegemony is the default, like within everything. Like even in like film media, you know, we're, we're here in a library, even in literature that it is the default and it's just like, why? Why does it have to be the default? You know what I mean? Or also like why do we have to make it a point to have something queer? Do you know what I mean? Like, we don't need permission or a reason. Like it could be queer just cuz it is and that's also fine. So, you know, like that and that reflects in our life, like, You know, it's this weird thing that they feel they're, they're part fearful, but part fascinated. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. And it goes back to, uh, this idea of like the lack of understanding. Um, but they have to respect our privacy at the same time, you know, cuz like 100%, you know, um, outside of, you know, books and movies and stuff, we're, we're real people. You know, we're real people with insecurities just like everybody else. And, you know, um, it's kind of odd, the, the fixation on the physicality of our bodies and stuff like that, you know what I mean? It al you know, especially in the implications of how dangerous that is, especially when you talk about youth. You know what I mean? Like, there's all of this talk right now in the media and in legislation about, you know, trans youth and, you know, um, transitioning and, and, and medications and things like that. And I'm like, why are you so fascinated about these kids' bodies? Like, it's like, why are you trying to regulate them? Yeah. Also, it's just like, uh, it's like I almost want them to like record themselves and then play it back. So you hear how crazy you sound like, yes. You know what I mean? Like, it, it just sounds weird and it's just like, it's. It comes to the perspective. Do you know what I mean? Like, they think that the, like the nuclear family is the default. And it's just like, that's not, that's not how life works. That's not how life works. And

Christy: 51:17

I'm so glad that like, people are hearing this, like maybe a light bulb will go on for some people and they'll be like, well, I hadn't thought of it that way before. You

Karleigh: 51:24

know, another way to think about it as well as also is that a lot of people are like, you're hearing a lot about this. Like, oh, everything's going queer now. They're erasing, we're erasing us. It's the agenda. It's the agenda. They're erasing when the fact is, no. Like I hear this all the time. Don't call me sis. I'm normal. I'm uh, and I'm like, no. You're sis. Yeah. We just have descriptors for it. Mm-hmm. And that's what gets me. It's like, don't call me. Do not call me Agender woman. Do not call. It's a descriptor. It's like black women, tall women, athletic women, white women. Now wait a minute. Some gender critical people don't like being are white women who don't like being called white. You know, that's another descriptor they don't like sometimes, but Yeah. But the thing is though, the one thing that people have to realize is it isn't that you're being pushed out of the center. It's that the center is widening. I love that. We are. Yeah. We are not decentering anyone. The point is, more and more experiences are being validated in mm-hmm. Normalized. Yes. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. Hello. Hello. Good. That means that now it's just a matter of what you're telling me is when you say that, No, you're erasing. What you're really saying is you're a five year old and you don't want to share. Mm-hmm. That's what you're saying. You're saying you're being, you're being childish at that point. Yeah. Because for me, I want the center widened. Mm-hmm. I want all expressions at the center to where we recognize, where we recognize them and we learn about them and we celebrate them. Mm-hmm.

Christy: 52:57

And why not? Why does it have to be so narrow and the center have to be so compact? Let's broaden it. Mm-hmm. I think that's amazing. And then,

Karleigh: 53:06

and at another level, we just realize that at another level, be at one level we celebrate it, but another level we just have a nice, you know, a nice healthy indifference to it. Perfect. Yeah. A good example is me coming out to my dentist and my dentist's like, okay, I've noticed something different. Said, yeah, I'm trans. He's like, oh, that's great. So what am I calling you now? Mm-hmm. My name's Karleigh pronouns. Are she her? That's great. That's wonderful. We're gonna change our records all the way. You gotta floss a little bit. See, in three months does done. That's it. And you know what, that was the most validating thing that could, that's one of the most validating things ever, because it was like, great, this wonderful, we're, we're not gonna miss a beat. Mm-hmm. We respect you. We love you Floss more done. Yeah. No big production. There's no production number needed. It's like, this is a part of life

Derek: 53:51

we go on. It's like, that's also like demystifying the fact that it could be that easy. It could be that easy. Like, you know, like, it doesn't have to be this grand, like, you know, production, you know what I mean? Like, feel however you feel. I really don't care. You know what I mean? Because at the end of the day, like I can only control what I do, what I think and what I say. You know? And it's just like, you're gonna, you're gonna call me it anyways. You're gonna say or feel how you want anyways. But you're gonna call me by my name. Exactly. You know, you gotta call me by my name and that's it. That's it. It's just that easy.

Christy: 54:20

So I, the beginning of the podcast, I had asked you guys. Um, if you had, uh, a, uh, a organization or, um, uh, something that you wanted to give a shout out to, uh, for our listeners, uh, because we wanna be able to be supporting folks all year, not just in June, not just in Pride. So I'd love to hear some of the organizations that you would like people to be aware of.

Karleigh: 54:43

Derek, my mouth is always running. Go.

Derek: 54:45

There's so many. There's so many. Um, I don't even know where to start. I mean, I think definitely organizations to shout out q plus. Like definitely. Yes, Q plus is doing the thing. We see you, you we love, you love Q plus. Yeah. Q plus is definitely love email. Yes. Like they're definitely doing it. They're one of the movers, you know what I mean? A hundred percent. Um, You know, the, the triangle Community Center, they're also doing great things. Um, Middletown had a, um, an L G B T Q, uh, like course that, um, city, um, employees had to take. Yes. And um, as a city employee, I had to take the course and it was. Incredible. Like I don't even, it was months ago. Mind you, and still to this day, like I am referring to, you know, the documents and all of the publications that they had, um, even in prep for coming here to speak, you know what I mean? Just wanting to make sure that the language is just like inclusive and, you know, all of that. Um, even as a queer person, cuz like we we're not perfect, you know, we don't, you know, it happens and that's okay. Um, but definitely, um, the course that they had, um, at City Hall was just like, it was. It was really, really, really nice. And, uh, there's other, there's tons of others, you know, the Imperial court system especially of Connecticut. Um, I actually was, um, a member of the Massachusetts branch, um, when I was in Massachusetts. Um, one of the founding members actually and uh, Connecticut has always been a, um, a great sister, um, branch and they've always been doing it and they were really one of the first to inspire me to really get active in my own community. Um, so shout out to them, definitely see what they're doing, go to their events, support them, you know, give them lots of money cuz they deserve it.

Christy: 56:24

I love that. Yeah, absolutely.

Karleigh: 56:26

Well, on, on my front, Derek named half the, named half the organizations greats named to begin with great mines. But I do wanna throw a shout out since I'm a resident of New Britain, new Britain racial justice. Mm-hmm. And the work that they have been doing, the work they've been doing, and they've been doing a lot of work at the glass grassroots mm-hmm. Of AIDS project in New Haven. Mm-hmm. They're doing unbelievable work. And of course, And of course the ball, the Vogue Knight are killer. Yes. Vogue Nights are killer. I wanna go, let's, I promise that, I promise, this summer I'm actually going to, I'm gonna learn, I'm gonna do a little performing. Okay. I'm going, I'm going to do that. Pure Pride, which is based in New Haven and Trans Haven, relatively new, relatively young and knee pants organizations helping trans communities here in Connecticut. Mm-hmm. Party for socialism and liberation. My party, my heart, my comrades. And yesterday we will be at Middletown, we will be in Middletown Pride and including me on that. Me and the car. Yeah. But that, those group of comrades are important to me because they were the people who gave me at the beginning. Of my transition when I was trying to figure a lot of things out, they gave me a place to give me a home, a political home to, to engage in some real activism to help in our communities at the grassroots. And I'll always be thankful for that trans lifeline who Yes, is yes a, a cause close to my heart and, and a place I am proud to work for. Mm-hmm. And they are North America's only 24 hour days, seven a day hotline that was started by transgender people. That is completely personnel by transgender people for the expressed purpose of helping our communities thrive and thrive and grow, not only across North America, but now globally, throughout the world. Yes, we are getting more and more people calling us around the world. That's beautiful. And in these tenuous times, those sort of things happen, they could use your dollars. I do wanna give a shout out to my girl, Sonya. Sonya fluky. Uh, owner of Reaper's of Reaper's Women's Football, and I want to give my team some love because this is the most, this is one of the most, this is probably the most, one of the most inclusive sporting opportunities I've been a part of. And this is a team that's relatively new. They're three years old. But the biggest thing is though, they're, they're so, they've done so much in a short amount, in a short amount of time to build a great deal of awareness of women's sports, women's issues, and they've been a be, and, and in very way, 100% not only, not only queer friendly, but queer positive and queer affirming. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, they not only, they not only talk it, they walk it. Yeah. And I, it's been, I've been proud in my rookie year of this team, and I'm already gonna let you know I will be back next year. Yes. Yes. I will play next year. I will, I will be a year older. I'll be 50 something, but I'm gonna get back. I'm gonna get my, I'm gonna get myself back out there again. And Southern New England Friendship League. And again, we still want players. If you still wanna play hit, go to their spot on Facebook. Find it, find it, Google it. Because we always need players, player games at every Sunday at three sites across the state. Mm-hmm. Uh, two, you're, you're guaranteed to play two games every Sunday, where Ernie Banks, let's play two. Woo. We get together a nice little local watering hole after the game, after the games, and there's opportunities for travel in this league. We build travel teams. Anybody who wants to travel and play an outta town tournament, we can including, This year's, um, national, this year's gay world, this year's national Gay Lesbian Softball World series, which is this year in the Twin Cities. Okay. It's in Minneapolis, St. Paul this year. And also, I'm gonna give a shout out to the great state of Minnesota for passing a refu for passing of refugee law, for those seeking abortions. Mm-hmm. And for those, and for those whose families are seeking affirming healthcare, healthcare for their transgender child. Yes, thank you. Minnesota. From all of us in Connecticut, the first state to pass such laws. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mind you, and that's what people forget. We are the first. People talk about the refugee law of Connecticut was the first to do it. Yeah. And that's something we should be proud of, but don't rest on it. We build on it. Yeah. We're moving. And of course, triangle Community Center. Yeah. Love Triangle Community Center and New Haven

Derek: 1:00:40

Pride Center. Oh yes. Pride. There's so many. There's so many.

Karleigh: 1:00:44

And Chemours Cultural Corner in Hartford. Yeah. Which is, which is Afro, which is unapologetically black, unapologetically queer, unapologetically built into the community. If you don't know who Kamora Harrington is and what she is meant mm-hmm. To LGBTQ liberation this state, you better ask somebody. You better

Derek: 1:01:03

ask somebody. You know what it is like? Like this is such a great like, indication of like family, community, like the things that, that people are scared of when they think about the queer community. It's just like, listen, like, like are you really listening? Like this right here, this exchange just sounds like family. It sounds like home, you know? And it's just like, What are you scared of? You know, like, this is beautiful, you know, this is life and this is real life, and you know, why? Why try and take that away from us? You know? Like they

Karleigh: 1:01:35

can't wrong. Why try and take it away from you? Yeah, exactly. Right. Exactly. All these groups I've named are working to make Connecticut a better state. Exactly. For everyone in it. Yeah. Not just the queer folks. Mm-hmm. But for all the folks. Yeah. In this state, for all the folks. I'll give you an example. What, I'll give you an example of what some of what LGBTQ people in middle in Middletown did during the pandemic. There was a whole lot of queer folks in Middletown who got together and organized an effort called Middletown Mutual eight. This was done majority queer. They were able to do more for residents here during the lockdown in 2020 than the state government was able to do for residents here. So, and I

Christy: 1:02:17

wonder if people were aware of that. That's pretty awesome.

Karleigh: 1:02:19

If you, if you went down around on the main, on the main track here and you, and you saw the food back, back during the pandemic and you saw the free food pantry, that's what they did. Mm-hmm. That's what they did. It was right on, it was right on that main corner. That's what the, that's what these just group of queer people decided we are going to come together and help our community through this difficult time. Like, like Derek was saying, it was family. Yeah. But this not just affects us. Family means all of

Derek: 1:02:46

us. Yeah. I think like for the queer community, like the, like the greatest gift that we have is the, like, the perspective, the big picture. We see how everything is, is a, it's a simultaneous exchange of energy and it affects all of us. Like we all have to live like symbiotically together. Right? Like we all, it all affects everyone, you know, good, bad, all of it. And it's just, You know, it's, it's foolish to think otherwise honestly. Like, you, you, you know, when you talk about like harmony and things like that, like harmony is a respective of all, all units together. And I think like, the one thing about the queer community is we get that. We understand that. And I think that's why, you know, every generation, it, it, it just, we get closer and closer and closer. And I think that's why right now we're living in a time where things seem so scary. It's because we're right there, we're at the cusp. You know what I mean? And that frightens people and. It, it, it's just like that note of just like keep on pushing. You know what I mean? Like when you talk about generations, you know, it's like the generation's duty to make sure moving forward, every other generation is freer and freer and freer. Right. And then especially as, you know, queer people of color and, and queer people that intersect in, in different communities, like you are a bridge. You're a bridge that connects these communities together. You know? And I just think that like, when we talk about, you know, activism and pride and all of that, like, what a beautiful thing. You know, that the Grand Marshals are who they are. And that we're able to, to really like spread that and show people and, and to connect to other people. And it's, it's because we understand the, the, the big, the bigger picture. We know, we know what's going on in the world, you know what I mean? We don't see things through just the, our lens of life, you know, because we're not afraid to live, you know? And because of that, we're able to see. Different lives and different lifestyles and different values and incorporate that into our own life. And you know, I think at the end of the day, that's what pride really is about. And um, I encourage everyone to come to Middletown Pride and see it cuz it's gonna be fabulous. It

Karleigh: 1:04:42

can't be single issue people. We don't live single issue

Derek: 1:04:44

lives. Exactly. None of us do. Exactly.

Christy: 1:04:47

I cannot believe that this is the first time that you two are together. Yeah. That you had not met before. This moment. Because I just feel like it's so No, seriously. Right. So, um, you're both so passionate, but you have meshed so beautifully in this conversation. I would think you have no would've known each other a hundred years. So this,

Derek: 1:05:05

we we're going, we do don't know each other from now on. In a past life we were like best friends. That's what it was. In a past life, we were, we were, you know, ruining

Karleigh: 1:05:14

the world. But now we're gonna, one thing I've learned in this journey is that you is that you, you'd be surprised the number of people to just glom onto you. And the next thing you know, you have made a friend, you don't even realize that. Mm-hmm. And then, but then you're walking out and it's like, oh. And then you get in that phone call a week later, you're like, oh. Mm-hmm. That's what's wonderful about all this. So no, everybody come on out. Yeah. Yes. Just come on, come on out. Experience it, enjoy it. And allow yourself to get lost in a little bit.

Derek: 1:05:43

Yes, yes, yes. And please tell me I'm pretty cuz I love you forever. Thank you. I

Christy: 1:05:48

don't think we can top that. I'm telling you,

Ayanna: 1:05:51

I'm telling you, we, we do have to get outta here. Um, but before we do, I'm interested, um, in what you both have going on, leading up, uh, to pride. Where can folks catch you? Right. Uh, before the 3rd of

Derek: 1:06:06

June. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Well, you can follow me on Instagram at its tele swag. That's I t s h e l l a s w h g g two G's. Please don't forget it. Um, I have lots of drag shows, uh, a lot of events. On the 1st of June, there's gonna be the pride kickoff, um, event that I will be there in full regalia and I'll be speaking a little bit. So again, come tell me. I'm pretty, so I can feel good about myself and yeah, follow me online. Facebook, um, you can follow me on Venmo cash app too, cuz the drag is expensive. Yeah, every little bit helps first, every little bit helps. Yeah. Seriously. You want me to look good? Exactly.

Karleigh: 1:06:45

Well, for me, hit my, you can hit my Instagram rocket down 1965 and from there you can get, I got my link tree up. Perfect. You have all my information, including an announcement. I've, as of May 1st start, start at my own Stub Stack. Okay. I'm going, I'm going into wife. Also, I'm a writer for out sports.com, which is the world's leading sports site that pertains directly to L Sports from an LGBTQ point of view. Mm-hmm. I mean, and that's something I've written for, for three, for almost four years now. It's been a labor of love. I've, I'm also part of a new effort that's gonna be starting over the, that's gonna be starting in the weeks ahead. It's called Transpire Media. A group of friends of mine down in Washington DC decided we are going to start an online media combine for trans creatives, trans news people, trans people in sports, and we're going to like build, we're gonna build a lot of content to get trans talent, trans creativity. Out to them, out to more and more mainstream people. Wait to the first. We're gonna get get out, get it out there. Because the fact of the matter is if we wait for major mainstream media combines to consider, maybe Aran, they'll consider one a year. Right? No. There's that kinda like mm-hmm. We only got room for, oh, we're gonna do a trans store. We only got room for one of you. And there's so many stories that they be told. So, so in a sense, this group, this group said we have to, if it's going to be, it's gonna be up to us. We have to do it. Mm-hmm. And one of'em said, Hey, hey, would you do a sports show for us? I'm like, all right, I'm there. Yeah, I'm there. All right. And that's gonna be starting in the, that's gonna be starting up in the next couple weeks. The Reapers have, we have, we have, I know we have two games scheduled right now. We got one come, we got one coming up. We got one coming up this coming Saturday. Either at, um, new Fairfield High School, that's our home field. Saturday five. Saturday, 5:00 PM Come on out, check us out. And then following week, went weekend. We're on the road. Then we've got two more games that are to be decided because unfortunately in our league, a couple teams and our division folded just before the season starts. Oh, okay. So we're scrambling at two more games. Yeah. And then our playoffs are during the pride month. Okay. And it looks like we're gonna make those. So no, come on out if you like. I know a lot of y'all like some football. If you're looking for your football fix, um, lay off that U don't, don't lay off that U S F L. Turn the TV off. Get out. Yeah. And support

Derek: 1:09:09

game. No one has time for Mad in Life. Have

Karleigh: 1:09:11

time for that. Yeah. Yeah. You know what, you know what? Turn. Yeah. Turn the PlayStation off. Come on out. Support. Support a lot of great women who are great athletes. Yes. Doing their best. And get to see some pretty good Yes. From some pretty good football. And also, you know, take a good look at that. Number 46. I hear she's kind of cute. Yes. I'm gonna,

Derek: 1:09:29

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go and be a cheerleader. I'm gonna go and, and cheer you on. Okay. Yes. I can't play football cuz, you know, drag the kneecaps. They can't, I can't take a tackle. I won't come back up. I

Karleigh: 1:09:39

was, I will be a cheerleader. I was on that one. I was on that. I was on that wanting to be a quarterback and a cheerleader at the same time too. Playing and doing both now as I love that in my fifties pipeline. So, you know what, that's what

Derek: 1:09:50

that is. This podcast has literally been to me for like an hour, just like snapping in a corner, the editor about

Christy: 1:09:56

everything.

Ayanna: 1:09:57

Leave that in.

Karleigh: 1:10:00

But you know, I've loved being on it. You had no takes. First of all, this

Ayanna: 1:10:03

is an amazing podcast. It's only because of the amazing group that we have right here. Woo. Um, for reals. Um, but yes, thank you so much. Thank you, Karleigh. Thank you Hella. Thank you Christy. Thank you listeners. Thank you Middletown. We love you so much

Christy: 1:10:18

and we'll see you pride. See

Ayanna: 1:10:19

ya. Do not miss it. Yes.

Christy: 1:10:31

Hello and welcome to Shelf Life. I'm Christy Billings, along with Stephanie Rush. Hi. And today we're going to be talking about some awesome books, uh, that feature gen transgender people. Um, I also wanna give a quick shout out, um, if you would like to know about some, um, Some great tips for allies of trans transgender people. Uh, there's a great organization called glad and uh, we have glad.org and there's a, uh, a list of great tips for people who want to be allies of things to do and maybe not to do. And, um, I think that's a great thing for people to look at. So I definitely would like people to check that out. Um, Stephanie, would you like to

Stephanie: 1:11:14

start? Sure. So Christy and I had talked a couple of weeks ago about what we wanted to talk about today, and since this is our pride preview episode, I pitched the idea that we should do a trans book highlight. Um, and Christy thought that was a great idea. So here we are. Um, but I wanna speak to what's happening right now. It's gonna get a little heavy for a moment cause this is heavy stuff, but, um, the books will be joyful, so, Um, so if you are paying attention, and I hope you all are. Our current national and global climate right now is, uh, with pride month, month approaching. Um, it's a really important time to highlight trans voices and as we know, L g BT Q rights are under attack in many channels right now. Legislation is quickly being passed that tightens restrictions on people living lives to their fullest, and specifically incredibly harmfully. It's affecting, um, these, these bills, and much of the rhetoric is targeting trans people and especially trans children. So I wanted to take this opportunity today to highlight some books that feature trans and or non-binary and gender non-conforming characters and or by trans and non-binary gender conforming authors. Um, these books are out there. They're there, we have them, we're reading them. Um, but unfortunately a lot of these books have been targets of book bands recently too. So this is the perfect time to discuss them and the stories that lie within them. In times like these, it's really important to remember that the sign sound bites that we hear on the news and the headline stories, they are natural stories, there are real issues that affect real lives, and we should all be paying attention to the voices that are shouting the loudest and the voices that are being silenced. So today we're gonna talk about them trans books,

Christy: 1:12:52

um, and I also encourage people to go back and listen to Ayana's interview with Christine. We'll add that into the show notes so people can go back and hear that. Uh, Christine was a commissioner last year for Pride and was a great interview. So, um, just a, a shout out to them. Perfect for talking about that last year. Yeah. So what did you bring today, Stephanie? We have

Stephanie: 1:13:13

quite a list. We do have quite a list today. So, um, do you wanna start Christy? Sure.

1:13:16

All

Christy: 1:13:17

right. I picked up a book going, uh, called. Growing up trans in our own words. It's edited by Dr. Lindsay Harriet and Kate Fry. And then I also, um, have a, what was book? It's an amazing series that brings, uh, students right into the heart of history. Uh, so this particular one is what was Stonewall and, uh, it's by Nicole, uh, Medina. So growing up trans, um, is poetry. Um, it is stories from, from young people. Um, but it is set up in such a way that each chapter has stories and real voices from, um, people who have experienced being trans. And then there's a section called What Can I Do Now for people that want to be supportive and be allies? And then there's a section called, what Can I Read Next? Oh, and that's after each chapter. So, childhood. Is a chapter, families is a chapter, bodies is a chapter, and everyday life is a chapter, is a few others. But, um, each, after each chapter there's things that people can do to help and also other resources so that you can find out more information. That's

Stephanie: 1:14:28

a really neat structure to a book. That's cool. So

Christy: 1:14:31

I really liked the structure, uh, particularly, um, I was drawn by the cover, uh, which is a non-binary. Person and I thought, wow, that's a great way to, to, uh, to talk about, um, transgender. Um, and I wanted to read a, uh, a piece by Luna Luna said, when I came across the word non-binary, it felt like something clicked inside me and I finally understood. Why had I had felt out of place for so long, all of a sudden I was part of something so unique and wonderful, while also finding a piece of my identity jigsaw. I just, I just absolutely love that. Um, and then there's a painting by Finn who's 13 years old, and it's a picture of a young man, um, uh, a young person, I should say, uh, with a rainbow heart. And then a city. And also there's tears and he's, this person says, uh, cause I don't know the pronouns. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, I apologize. Mm-hmm. Yep. The art piece is meant to express feelings about being transgender in some rough school surroundings. The rainbow colored head in the air is part of my character that expresses my feelings of creativity. The clouds are the city I've created, so it's, um, a book that is so beautiful and so heartbreaking at the same time. Um, I really encourage folks to pick this one up. Um, one more piece. Um, Dr. Jake Pine says, pay attention to how your trans or non-binary, fr non-binary friends and classmates describe their bodies and their identities. Try to remember the words they use to describe themselves. Make sure you use the same words they do when you talk to them or about them. It can mean a lot to your trans friends and classmates to know that someone gets them and someone cares. Yeah. So I, I really encourage folks to read this growing up Trans in Our Own Words, by Dr. Lin Lindsay,

Stephanie: 1:16:26

Harriet and Kate Fry. Well, that last piece was super powerful because as we know, as librarians and readers, we know that language is incredibly powerful and language is also always changing. So knowing the words that make somebody feel respected and accepted are so important, but also knowing to like mirror what they're using for themselves. I love that piece. Like listen to your friends and listen to the words that they like being described as and use those words as a sign of

Christy: 1:16:53

respect. Absolutely. Yeah. Because everyone is not same. Right. So there's not just one size fits off Yeah. For, for anyone. Yeah. And we have to definitely respect that. I love that. The other book I picked was what was Stonewall, um, by Nico Manina. And. So if you haven't read a little bit of the history of, uh, Stonewall, uh, I'll just say it in a sentence or two. It was, um, sort of the start of how Pride Parade started. They started as a protest, um, and people were just fed up and this. Uh, all came to a head at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. Uh, there was arrests, um, and people just said, this isn't going to happen anymore. And, um, uh, this protest moved on into being, I think, a, a, a movement that made things different and made things possible for people to live their authentic lives. Um, one of the veterans of Stonewall was Marsha p Johnson. Uh, Marsha said The peace stood for pay No mind. Hmm. A transgender black woman, Marsha, dressed in both men's and women's clothing and modeled for the gay pop artist. Andy Warhol, the queen of Christopher Street Johnson, was among the first to resist arrest at Stonewall. Uh, there was also, uh, a young person who, who wanted to have a library at Stonewall. Hmm. Um, I didn't know that because, uh, people didn't necessarily think that was a good idea. Uh, and. So he started a library. Uh, this was Craig Rodwell. And, um, uh, he actually, he had, uh, the bookstore, and I'm not sure if I'm saying this right, Matthan Society. Um, but he wanted this bookstore and when the Matthan Society, so I'm sorry, it wasn't at Stonewall. Uh, it was, uh, at Matay. Uh, when he asked to open this bookstore, the answer was no. So he did a bookstore himself and he called it the Oscar Wild Memorial Bookshop, and he opened it in 1967. Nice. Um, You know, unlike, uh, this is from the story, unlike local gay bars where windows were often boarded up or painted over, the bookstore was an openly queer landmark. And so it was often trashed. There were even death threats against Rodwell and his staff, but the bookstore remained open long after he had passed. So I feel like people have been trying to get information out and, um, and to let people know that they need to not think that being your authentic self is in any way wrong

Stephanie: 1:19:21

or a, or, or like oppressive to someone else. Exactly. Like someone being their authentic self doesn't take anything away from anybody else.

Christy: 1:19:31

Absolutely. So, uh, one of the, one of the, um, pride parades that we were at, I had a gentleman come up. Um, he said he had come to Russell Library. Years before Yeah. Trying to find out what was wrong with him. Mm-hmm. And he said, guess what I found out? And I said that there was nothing wrong with you. Yeah. What a beautiful story. Yeah. So I encourage people to know that they can come to the library, we will, um, help folks find information that they are looking for. Mm-hmm. And it is private. We don't talk about what people look for. We don't talk about it with each other. We don't talk about it to anybody else. Yeah. So if you are interested in finding out information, Russell Library is the place to come. Yeah.

Stephanie: 1:20:11

And I just wanna say that Christy's book, uh, the what Stonewall is part of a series that we keep in the children's department. The what is, what Wall is, who is series. So that's actually a great primer for really any age. They're aimed towards young people. But I find that these books are really good, um, starters for really any topic or any person you're looking for. So the, the what was Stonewall is a good kind of starting place for really anybody. I agree. I

Christy: 1:20:36

I found out a lot of information I didn't know. Yep. So I think it's a, it's a great book for any

Stephanie: 1:20:40

age. For sure. And our kiddos love those. They're always like, where are the, who is books?

Christy: 1:20:44

Exactly. They love'em. You can find out so much about a, a person in like digestible bites and

Stephanie: 1:20:49

the, the illustration style on these books is very iconic. They have like, big heads and, and big, big smiles. The other caricatures. Yeah. They're very fun. So they're, they're kind of all ages friendly. Absolutely. Yeah. And what did you bring stuff? All right, well it's gonna surprise nobody that I brought a ya in a middle grade. So, um, I'll start with my ya I read this one maybe two weeks ago. Um, it's called Always The Almost by Edward Underwood. I wanna start with talking about the author's note for this one, cuz it, it stood out to me and it was beautiful. So the author, um, is trans and they start the book by acknowledging that there's really some tough stuff in the story because it's based on, um, They're real life. It's based on true stuff that's actually happened based on things that happen to kids all the time. They're trans people all the time. Um, so there's some tough stuff in it, but the characters are realistic. And that means that sometimes they say terrible things and act in horrible ways. But the book is ultimately about finding yourself and finding queer and trans joy. And the author makes sure that you know, that going in, that this book is going to have a happy ending. And I think that was huge coming into this book because so many times we find that stories about, um, marginalized communities, marginalized communities, yes, are painful and traumatic. And that's why I think sometimes people stray away from those books. This book has some painful stuff in it, but it also has so much joy. And I, I loved knowing that upfront, what I was getting into and what I was ready for. And, um, as a reader, that was like very lovely to have. Um, but I'll tell you about the book. Okay, so here's the book. Um, always the almost is about miles, who's 16? Um, a trans boy and a pianist. And he plans to get back his boyfriend who dumped him after he transitioned. And also he plans to beat out his competitor in the big Midwest classical piano competition. Um, and so from here on we get a warm and really messy young adult story about finding yourself and figuring out who you are and who you wanna be and whether or not the opinions of others matter. And discovering love and joy along the way. Um, I have chills right now talking about this book. Um, it's so wonderful. I love these characters and I learned a lot about the competitive world of piano playing. Yes. Yeah. Being honest. I, I grew up playing piano, but I wasn't that great. And so reading about these characters who. Are so dedicated and anxious and, uh, was just a very new experience for me. So this added layer of like, this is what it's like to be a competitive pianist, was fascinating. Right. It's not track and field,

Christy: 1:23:18

we don't usually think about like the competition, so. Right.

Stephanie: 1:23:21

That's a very interesting piece, like wearing gloves on your hands in the winter so that like it doesn't affect your playing ability or it was just like all the stuff that I'd never thought about. So there's this cool layer on top of it being this wonderful trans joy story. Um, and this is Edward Underwood's debut novel, so I'm really excited to see what the, what uh, you are next. Yes.

Christy: 1:23:39

Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. So that, yeah. And

Stephanie: 1:23:41

what was the other one that you craft? Um, so that was always the, almost by Edward Underwood and my second book is called Anna on the Edge by AJ Sass. Um, so I read this one maybe two or three years ago. Um, and it was the first time I'd encountered a trans or, uh, gender nonconforming character in a middle grade novel. Um, and I'm really happy these books exist because as we are finding out. People know these things about themselves earlier than maybe they're given credit for. Right. And seeing these stories is really helpful for kids kind of figuring themselves out and having characters that they can actually feel related to. Yes. Is really important. So this is the first time I've encountered it, but I've encountered so many more stories like this since. Um, so let me tell you about this one. Yes. Um, so this is about, um, 12 year old, uh, Annamarie gin, and they're the reigning US juvenile figure skating champion. So I, I apparently I did two books about competitions. Right. But, and I'm just realizing that now, um, so Anna is not sure that they love the costuming that comes with the territory, right. Of being a junior f figure skating champion. Um, the theme for this year is princess theme and the upcoming season is really stressing Anna out. Um, and then Anna meets a transgender boy named Hayden, who mistakes Anna and their short hairstyle for a boy. And Anna is like, Okay, I'm not gonna correct you. And then starts to question everything. Um, so instead of correcting Hayden, Anna leans in and starts acting more stereotypically boyish. But on the ice, Anna finds it difficult to mesh those two parts together into being one person. Um, so this is another story about like asking yourself tough questions and not knowing whether or not what you're asking or answering is okay. Especially when you're 12, right? Um, and if there's nobody guiding you with those questions, it can be really confusing. Um, but it's also a story about bucking convention and living your truth. Um, and this is actually a nut neg, a nut mag nominee for this coming year. So I'm really excited to see it on the list and I'm excited that it's gonna get into more reader's hands. And now we have more copies so that more readers can read it. Just

Christy: 1:25:42

a quick, what is a nutmeg for folks that we know

Stephanie: 1:25:44

now? Yeah. So Nutmegs are Connecticut book awards and, um, we get nominees around this time every year that are submitted by a committee that reads hundreds of books and narrows it down into age groups. So we have a, a k to two. I think it's k to two, K to two, three to five, and then, um, middle school and high school. And so this is a believe a middle school nominee for this year. Um, so what happens is we get the books, everybody spends all the nominees. We get all the nominees. Yep. Multiple copies in all in both departments. And we will, uh, encourage people to read them and then throughout the year you read them and then the readers get to vote. Right. So

Christy: 1:26:23

the kids are the ones that

Stephanie: 1:26:24

pick the books. Yeah. So these tend to be really big in schools and school libraries. But, um, we have the books here as well, so you can come in and read them and then, um, vote online and then the winner for the next year gets an out. So this is a nominee this year. Highly recommend it. Um, so that was Anna on the Edge by AJ Sass, who is a. Non-binary author.

Christy: 1:26:44

I love this. And you know, we really wanted to highlight this for today. Yeah. And we hope we get some feedback from our listeners. We'd love to hear what other books people are reading. Yeah. Or recommend for us. So any last thoughts,

Stephanie: 1:26:56

um, that these books exist, they're out there. And if you're looking for one and can't find one or can't access them, we'll help you. We, we love putting books like this in reader's hands. Um, and we're really passionate here at Russell about the right to read. And it, uh, as we're recording this, it is, um, library National Library National Workers' Day. Yes. National Library Workers' Day. And this week we're celebrating libraries and librarians, um, especially the resources that we are able to put into reader's hands. So when you hear this, it'll be later. But yeah, come see us. Yeah, please come see us. We're happy to help. And, uh, as you can tell, we love talking about books. So if you wanna talk about some books that you're maybe thinking about or not sure what to

Christy: 1:27:39

read, we'll help you. I love it. Yeah. Thanks so much for listening today folks, and stay tuned for turn that sh up.

Kim: 1:27:54

Hello and welcome to another installment Up Turn that, shh. Up projects at Russell Library that are too good to keep quiet. Summer is heating up and the library has events to keep you cool. In May we have playtime and dance parties in the Children's Library and cool jazz in the Hubbard room. Joining me today to talk more about these programs is Shannon Barillari from our technology department.

Shannon: 1:28:17

Hey Kim, how's it going? It's going well. How are you? Uh, it's pretty good. I wish the sun was out though. It's a little gloomy today, but the weekend's supposed to be wonderful. Yes. You guys will be hearing this next week and you'll know that we had a wonderful weekend, but, so let's get going. Um, on our youth and Family learning department's play program that runs from Mondays from 9:30 AM until 10:30 AM throughout the month of May, come to the activity room each week to connect with other families and have some fun. A variety of toys will be out for free play, including building materials, crafts, and other sensory toys. It is a great opportunity for children not yet in school or being homeschooled to get together. To sign up, please visit the library's website.

Kim: 1:29:04

Sounds like a lot of fun sounds. Yeah. On Saturday, May 13th at 2:00 PM Jazz Up Close will present a concert featuring Dennis McElroy. Dennis will present and discuss his original compositions, accompanied by basis, Henry Lugo and pianist and host Noah Bearman. Dennis has performed as the drummer in prominent big bands, including the Vanguard Jazz Orchestra, Clara BLA Orchestra, and Dizzy Gillespie All-Star Big Band, as well as in small ensembles led by Hank Jones, Joe Williams, George Shearing, Randy Sanka, Keter Bets, and others. The 2023 season of Jazz Up Close is dedicated to Carol Schulz, former employee of the Russell Library, and strong supporter of Jazz Up close. Oh, that's gonna be

Shannon: 1:29:50

wonderful. Especially for Carol. Yeah. Yeah. I wish I knew her well. People at the library had some really wonderful stories to tell about her. Yeah. So she was very

Kim: 1:30:00

dedicated to the arts in Middletown. Yeah. And it was a special time. Yeah. Her

Shannon: 1:30:04

memory will live on, but also on Saturday, May 25th at 10:30 AM the library will host a playtime and dance party host by Middletown's parents of preschoolers in DJ Mix truck. They will be playing music to sing and dance too in the activity room at the library. Come work out some extra energy at the library. Ooh. Now I'm gonna

Kim: 1:30:28

have to visit that too if I, I know I'm, if I'm excited. So Russell Library appreciates all of the support that we receive from the community. Thank you for listening, and please visit our website to learn more about our events and resources. Middletown Strong is now available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of the places you listen to podcasts. Please subscribe and feel free to share what you learn with others. Russell Library has too many exciting things going on to keep them quiet. Talk to you next time. Bye bye.